My Girlfriend is Smarter Than Me!!

I like to consider myself a pretty smart guy. I enjoy reading books, do a bit of programming, keep track of forex rates, stock markets, I feel I have a pretty solid grasp of the language, I do use proper pronunciation except for when I encounter a new word and I quickly relish in opportunities to correct those who don't. So obviously, it’s only natural that I’m attracted to women that are my intellectual equal. That's pretty much my "type." Ideally, we should be able to learn from one another and inspire the mutual pursuit of knowledge to make our budding relationship all the more meaningful and beautiful. Now, that’s all well and dandy, works all fine, and while I say “I’m attracted to women who are my intellectual equal” that’s not entirely true: I should say that “I’m attracted to women who are my intellectual equal… just not smarter than me.” This probably sounds a little misogynistic to some but it’s not true I promise. I fully support movements of the fair treatment of women, and equality, and women’s liberation and blah, blah, blah but the simple truth is I like to have a slight intellectual upper hand on the extremely lucky lass who currently finds them self hanging from the arm of a great catch like myself. Is that too much to ask? :P


Now, I’ve been dating my current girlfriend for a lot many months now. She’s great. She’s smart, beautiful, funny, a free spirit, has the most beautiful smile and all that other stuff we as men find attractive in the women we wag our tails at. Unfortunately, I’ve recently come to the realization that my girlfriend is most probably smarter than me. She is getting better grades than me. She points out mistakes in my blog even after my thorough inspection. What the hell, she even corrects my pronunciation. :(

Now she even finds grammer mistakes. :(

There are sometimes I prefer not to compete.

Actually I’ve known this for quite a while but only now am I able to come to terms with this and admit it openly. My first clue that she was probably smarter than me happened after the first time she tried to offend me by saying something sarcastic. Before I begin my tale let me explain myself a little: I’m a pretty laid back type of person. Sometimes I can be so laid back, it borders on paralysis. I don’t care for drama, gossip or the emotional/political games people play. Attempting to be polite when expressing dislike is even too much work for my lazy ass, I prefer the in-your-face confrontations with people or things I don't like. But oddly enough I am extremely competitive. I can find competition in anything, be it sports, chess, computer games, pictionary, tic tac toe, who can cross the street faster, who can act more like a retard, who can give more clever comments, anything but to put it in a more succinct way: I fucking hate to lose.

In my previous relationships, I was always the better gifted one when it came to sarcasm and clever comments, I mean it was too easy to outsmart the other person and they gave up when they realized they weren't born with proper weapons to win this battle. So, I sort of always had an upper hand. And I enjoyed starting such conversations and emerge victorious every now and then or watch them retreat without a fight. It sort of fed my hunger for ego boost. So one day my girl and I are talking about random stuff I begin one such conversation by somehow calling her choice of movies lame, but to my surprise she hits back with a better insult. But I was still confident of victory because :

A) This was just the first round, My first attempt was just to herald the advent of the conversation.

B) I am a fucking genius. How do I know this? I know this because I spend hours daily reaffirming my overwhelming intellect by staring at a mirror and calling myself the “Cerebral Assassin.” I mean, with a nickname like that, “Genius” is assured, isn't it??

I readily accept her challenge. This silly girl doesn’t know what she’s in for besides; this would be a perfect time to test my theory out about who is smarter amongst us... Little did I know, she was doing the same with me.

But to my surprise she somehow is able to throwback all of my sarcasm right back at me. She beats me(I let her win). Now at the time, we had only been dating a few months and not wanting her to know that I’m a bit of a prick and an asshole, I muster what dignity I had left to not completely lose it and get away from the conversation crying and screaming profanities at her. I accept defeat somewhat like a man… Somewhat.

This is what I avoided.

After a few hours of sulking around the house, trying to avoid thinking about it and gently sobbing myself to sleep.. :P :P .. I finally acknowledged the fact that maybe I’m not as smart as I claim to be. In retrospect, I think it was probably for the best I found out sooner rather than later. I mean staring in the mirror calling myself a “Cerebral Assassin” hours on end was probably a more futile and weird effort in raising my ego rather than my intellect. I’ve realized that in previous relationships that I had been satisfied with just being me. Don’t get me wrong, being yourself with the person you care about is never a bad thing. Not at all but I’ve come to understand that I had become complacent with my situation with them. At least now I feel I’ve found a worthy adversary of sorts: Someone who challenges me. Maybe that’s what relationships are all about. Learning and growing together and finding someone who you want to be better for and surprising yourself in the process. Or maybe it’s not, I don’t know. The one thing I do know is that I’ll never be all that great at writing love letters. I guess admitting I’m an idiot, and whipping out this article full of stupidity is the closest I’ll ever get, but in the grand scheme of things, I’m thinking she’s worth it… or at least until I can find a girl who can turn into Megan Fox at night.

Wishing her a very Happy Birthday!! :)